Relationships

Mantra


  • I can only control my intentions entering a conversation and my reaction coming out of it.
  • I do not need to be demeaned. That is a fair boundary and I am right to leave a conversation where there is no respect of my position as her mother.
  • It is okay to disagree. We are two different people and have two different sets of values.
  • It is not okay to give him my time or effort if it won’t yield results. Summarize and walk away.
  • He is my coworker in the business of raising our daughter. He is not my boss. He does not understand all the facets of my position. Nor can I understand his.
  • His digs are insecurities or concerns expressed dysfunctionally. The concerns are valid. The dysfunction is not.
  • I only have to answer concerns that involve parenting. Everything else isn’t his domain.
  • He doesn’t own my truths. I do. I am good at this parenthood thing and my instincts got me this far. I am alright.
  • He owns his own feelings and narrative. I did terrible things to him. When I look at our history, it boggles my mind that I am the villain in his narrative. IT IS NOT MY JOB TO DISENTANGLE IT.
  • It is okay to stop talking if he doesn’t respond to my boundaries. It is okay to set boundaries. And I have to defend them until he recognizes that they exist. Boundaries matter.
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Oh gosh, I just spilled my guts. Please comment and tell me what you think. :)

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