Last year, a pretty famous blogger I followed, Glennon Doyle, posted this poem Christmas at Midlife by Mary Anne Perrone.
People find solace in all sorts of ways. I love finding words that echo things I’ve felt. It is amazing that for every different human who has lived a unique life carved out for their individual divine purpose that someone, somewhere has struggled as I will. That I am not alone. That despite time, location, age… some artist has captured the essence of their struggle and out their reflections on it out into the world. There is a wonderful, warm paragraph of words that we can read and take solace in, “Me too.” If I had to say I’ve fallen in love with anything, it is that feeling of stumbling upon lovely words from a stranger and knowing they were there where you are. They also felt this. Me too, me too, me too. How lovely to hold hands with bright souls who can light your way.
It is December 31st and the eve of 2018. We often sit and try to discover who will be in the next year. My beginnings always happen at other people’s endings as my birthday is in December. This time of year, after the holidays, we become resolved to change certain things. What will this new year bring? How can I be better?
I have never been great at resolutions. So much happens in each year that any intentions I have are often lost in the fact life unfolds in ways you can’t anticipate. So I think I am done with the whole idea of resolution and more inclined to put out hopes for the new year.
And so here is my wishes for 2108:
– I hope to not forget to pack any school lunches.
– I hope to remember when we have things to go to (appointments, practice, class, etc.)
– I will make a monumental effort open the mail as it comes in and deal with it in the moment.
– I will try to remember that this is season of being a taxi, a laundry attendant, a sous chef to tiny people with terrible palettes and cultivating the voice they’ll hear in their heads years later. It will pass like all seasons in a bittersweet fashion and they’ll be a season for me.
– I hope to contribute more financially to our family. I’d like a more secure situation for us. But we have been blessed to figure out how to make due.
– I hope that we take one more vacation before we commit to a dog.
– I hope that we get a dog. even though all that work scares me.
– I hope to find balance co-parenting with high conflict Exes. Different struggles every year… wins and losses and lessons. I hope that this year has less of highs and lows. More just existing together.
– I hope to just keeping doing one right thing at a time and let it bring me all the way home.
That’s it. Lofty and simple.
Wishing everyone the best as we mark the passing of another year. Burn the good candles…