Tomorrow Miss M turns 8 years old. It is getting awfully close to double digits. They say that the years are short, but the days are long. A very sincere and succinct outlook on parenthood.
Here is what I wrote to M on the anniversary eve of her birth:
Listen, because I could never tell you too many times, know that I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I did not understand the capacity of my heart until you appeared wrinkly and small in my arms. You are who my heart has loved the longest. You taught me what it means to be a mother. I am forever grateful for what your existence has done to my character and heart.
You are a wonderful light in a world that can be dreary. You are a deep person filled with passion and drive. You think critically. You don’t take no as an answer. You are outspoken and not afraid to be heard. You are a great helper and take responsibility seriously. You are have an imagination that fits whole worlds in it. You defend yourself with vigor. As you get older and we try to temper some of these traits, please know I love those things about you. I am grateful you were blessed with a big personality. I hope I teach you how to have the best of these things that make you special, but also how to be good neighbor, citizen and friend. I hope that you’ll learn to make your honestly less blunt, control your drive for a “yes” in life before it becomes rudeness and that your love of the spotlight will learn to be more patient so others have a chance to shine as well.
As hours go by we often make each other feel all sorts of affectionate and uncomfortable things. We are have laughs, quality time, deep conversations, and shared experiences. And we also get upset with one another. (Although, honestly kid, how many times can I ask you to not stick your dirty clothes under your bed or explain what it means to eat over a plate before I raise my voice?) We get to be our best and our worst selves in front of each other. There are not many relationships that survive that, but we kind of thrive on it. As we navigate this process, know that I feel love, pride and affection for the person you are the most. Of all the things being your mother makes me feel, everyday, I feel pride and affection for you. I know it doesn’t always feels that way to you. Sometimes it feels like I’m asking too much of you or giving you the mad-disappointed-mom face constantly. I promise that’s not what I feel the most often. I feel love most often. The fact is that you, M, bring me joy and a full heart more than anything else.
I am so blessed to be your mama. You are my good thing. Never forget it or doubt it.
I hope that eight is filled with wonders. That we make some great memories. That you continue to know you are loved and cherished by so many people.
Love you! Happy 8th Birthday!
She won’t see it until she is gifted her email one day. But that’s her birthday message this year.
Short years. Long days. Ain’t that the truth.