Relationships

That whole it takes a village thing…


It is about 7:45 am on a Sunday morning. Its quiet. Just me, Dimples and a cup of coffee. No where to rush off to just yet.

Community. Can I just say I feel deep in my soul gratitude that I belong to a few circles of beautiful, full, fun women? That I have sisters to walk through different parts of my life with. I think its important. I think it is a huge reason I’m still here today. That I have people who fill my life with such positive energy. That teach me things I never knew, That are just there if I need them. To belong to each other. Something we have been doing for so long without realizing it.

I have been delving into the world of blogs. There are many lovely voices out there I love to listen to, read and (sorry for all my Facebook friends) share. One I’ve become particularly fond of is a blog called Momastery (http://momastery.com/blog/). We belong to each other. It is a major theme in her life and, therefore, her writing. How wonderful is that concept? That we belong to one another.

I have a lot of favorite woman who float in and out of my life. My second family from my old, married life away in western Massachusetts. My blessed, beautiful group of girlfriends from high school with whom I share deep history and fondness. My work family from an old cell phone sales job. My old college roommates who are just great and still with me through social media. My new network of mom-friends. Miss M has good taste in friendships and I have benefited 100-fold from befriending their parents. My cousins and actual sisters. My gorgeous aunts. My mother and bonus of a great step-mother. I mean really I am well networked with a connection of wonderful, funny, loving talented woman to share may life with. I have strong men in my life as well, but there is something special about sisterhood. About belonging to each other.

It is now 10:37pm. It has been a weird day folks. I have ventured into the awkward. In the world of modern families, awkward happens a fair amount. Conflict comes in different peaks between the calm. Those of us who share parenthood with exes know kids bounce between different lifestyles and limitations of distance between there biological parents. Logistics become a crucial point of conversion and, well, contention. So, in the calamity of trying to balance work, life, and children– there is a temporary issue with childcare of Blue Eyes. Match and his Ex– due to the all the above– could not work out to reasonable mutual agreeable plan that would save Blue Eyes from either (a) a-very-late-school-night or (b) plain-old-being-late-for-school child care schedule. It happens. And, because they communicate in a way, well, I call it challenging there came to a stalemate.

It sucks to watch. It does. Because everyone is trying to work in the best interest of Blue Eyes without satisfaction. Without one of her grownups uncomfortable. Without making more damage. So, here is the thing:  Match’s Ex doesn’t seem to have a sisterhood. Or at least a large enough one. And, honestly, I don’t know how you survive this parenthood thing without one.

So in reading this blog, in loving Blue Eyes, with my own persistent will that makes me always want to help, with this concept of “We Belong to Each Other” putting words to many of the things I have felt in my life… I’ve entered the messy. And dragged my lovable, wonderful sister with me.

So here’s the deal: Match’s Ex needed Match to put Blue Eyes to bed at her place as part of his one night a week. Which seems reasonable, but due to their relationship together lends itself to bad news, conflicts and liabilities. Best interest of the kid only goes so far when you’ve had disagreements that take you to bad emotional places. While discussing the options to resolve this issue, Match’s Ex spoke of the college she was attending this night course at… which is the SAME college my sister is taking a summer course at! Match’s Ex said she was fine with a babysitter as long as Blue Eyes knew whoever watched her… and Blue Eyes really, really LOVES my sister. My sister to be at that college for 8am and would appreciate a shorter commute… Match’s Ex lives WAY closer to the school. BOTH are studying science, BOTH had to go to the same school because it was the only college offering the course they need, BOTH just one course away from their degrees– it seems like the universe is placing opportunity out there. And after the stalemate… I figured it was worth seeing if my sister could babysit. She can! And Match’s Ex is willing to try it out.

There is strength in numbers. I am blessed to have a small army of people who love and support me. We help each other. Match’s Ex is going to let me share one of my favorites with her for one to four weeks to solve this problem. Because this might be the best for Blue Eyes. It is weird and awkward and a little modern– and totally may be a disaster– but for one of the best six-year old’s I know.. we are gonna do it. And honestly, it is blowing my mind a little, because some things are heading in a very parallel place.

I know this isn’t saving the world or feeding the hungry… but can we just revel in the fact that this a huge mingling in the world of modern family, in relationships, in this concept of being there for each other. That this could be really great. Maybe really terrible. Honestly, it’ll probably end up being a little bit of both. But I’m leaning towards this sense that this is one of those times where life is saying– try this. This is going somewhere you need to go. It is blowing my mind a little because I do think life presents us with opportunities. I am dying to see how this pans out. Just like how this blog post veered a little from my morning’s beginnings.

Into the unexplored we go in less than 48 hours…  we will see where it take us. Hopefully somewhere good. Wish us luck. We might need it.

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2 thoughts on “That whole it takes a village thing…

  1. Im happy that you have a wealth of circles to share your journey with. It must be a great feeling to have that. I have a post describing the opposite of the Village thing (A Village An Era) if you have time take a read and maybe it will help you if you find yoruself in the same situation.. Thanks, happy blogging.

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